When my emotions connect me to my heart, they become incredibly valuable and insight provoking. When I become mired and lost in my emotions, I then get washed away in that storm again and again! My emotions are a wonderful feedback to show me where I am out of balance.
But how do I work with the feedback my emotions are showing me?
Emotions can show me where I am polarized on an issue, with a person, or within myself. To the level I am polarized in anger, resentment, jealousy, elation, etc. is to the level that I will feel and express that emotion.
For example, my boss yells at me for something that I did not do; and yet, after fighting my case he still does not believe me and I leave the office fuming. This event and the emotion attached to it (anger) has significant feedback for my life as it relates to the relationship to my boss. To get at what the feedback is trying to show me, I have to ask the right questions to discover the hidden knowledge within the very situation exactly as it is!
The question I ask in this situation is: What are the benefits to my boss yelling at me for something that I did not do? If you ask yourself this question you might come up with answers like this: I defended myself, I stated my case in a clear and concise way, I fought for what I believed in, I did not lose my temper but remained level-headed, I preserved my relationship with my boss and my job, etc. This is not a question I answer once, but over and over, in order to get to the learning that is inherent in the situation exactly as it happened. In fact I will answer this question at least 20 to 50 times until I feel gratitude for my boss doing exactly what he did! Instead of a jerk, my boss becomes my teacher. If I don’t ever ask how my boss is trying to teach me, I will remain stuck in my one-sided anger toward my boss and engage with him accordingly. When I am humble enough to learn from him, I neutralize the negative charge and the story attached to it and grow. Gratitude and a new healthy relationship with my boss are my rewards!
Deep gratitude for my teacher John Demartini whose teachings are foundational to this counseling article!
If you would like to experience this process personally contact me:
MA Body Psychotherapist / Demartini Method Consultant
3003 E. 3rd Ave, Suite B101
Denver, CO 80206
“I met William in 2012 and immediately knew I was in the presence of someone with extraordinary intelligence and wisdom. His experience and love for his clients and what he believes shines through his maturity and enhances everything he does. As a fellow therapist, I rely on his insights and consider him a gift to mankind.” ~ Stephen Gardner (Colleague)